The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
