Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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