And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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