its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
