Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
