At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
