have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
