dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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