so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
