you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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