Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
