Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
