two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
