69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
