Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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