Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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