cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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