Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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