dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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