Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
