And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize