I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize