Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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