Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
