i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
