I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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