mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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