Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
