her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
