is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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