Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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