well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus