I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.