I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?