Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos! (317): Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto? (630): Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos http://tfl.nu/vb21
  Replies (20) Good night (2472) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel. (224): I'm with your mom on this one. http://tfl.nu/c28m
  Replies (9) Good night (953) Bad night (2864)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log. http://tfl.nu/ft0h
  Replies (47) Good night (15051) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle http://tfl.nu/572m
  Replies (9) Good night (5033) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug
  Replies (29) Good night (6301) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (4953) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong http://tfl.nu/v2kj
  Replies (25) Good night (1160) Bad night (5278) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever. http://tfl.nu/x9w2
  Replies (33) Good night (882) Bad night (4150) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f
  Replies (7) Good night (5972) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet? http://tfl.nu/nobj
  Replies (5) Good night (2914) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that. http://tfl.nu/qgn9
  Replies (8) Good night (2265) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months http://tfl.nu/4w1o
  Replies (3) Good night (1567) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/qeni
  Replies (23) Good night (3557) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cul4
  Replies (4) Good night (1013) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/8ucr
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt

Randomize