man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis