this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
