three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
