I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
