Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
