I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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