i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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