Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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