white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We have started to decorate penises.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis