my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
