We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
