when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
