They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
