Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
