i don't like sucking hair
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
