so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
