No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
