i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
