It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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