I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I touched a dick in church today
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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