Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
