i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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