the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
