Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
