guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
