bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
