I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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