Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
